Relationship tips for couples

Take your time….

As we all know when the relationship gets comfortable we tend to try to move faster which may be okay in some situations but not all.  My relationship tips for couples are to understand that it takes time to grow with one another.  The relationship was not built over night and it will certainly take time to grow as well.  A lot of time couples rush into the things which can cause a lot of headache in the long run.  An example that I want to share with you is if you have only been together for a month and have not learned each others favorite movie yet then you probably should not be planning to buy a house yet.  I know that may sound silly but it’s a very real thing that happens a lot in life.  When you’re in the process of getting to know each other remember to take the time to enjoy the process because it can be a beautiful thing.  People long for love and someone to call their own so when they finally get into a relationship they tend to want to rush into things that would in a sense make them feel more connected with their partner.  Most will probably wonder what I mean by that but it’s very simple, when you have things together as a couple it tends to make the relationship of more importance to people because of the added responsibilities and commitments made when you have things together as a couple. Always remember to take your time and the love will grow in the relationship. When the foundation is solid that’s when you begin to move things along in the relationship but not before then.

No communication no relationship is one of the most important relationship tips for couples

When people ask me my thoughts on communication in a relationship I quickly respond with if there is no communication there is no relationship.  People can get so comfortable in a relationship that they begin to communicate less often than normal.  The best relationship tips for couples is to always keep the door of communication open because we sometimes unintentionally put the weight on our partner’s shoulder of reading our minds.  I think that we often times expect our partner to just know when we feel certain things instead of addressing it.  In order to grow as a couple you have to be open.  There are some people who aren’t as good with communication as other’s but it is up to you to advise your partner of this at the beginning of the relationship.  Always remember no one is perfect but you have to put your all into a relationship to make it work.  I think it is very important to understand that regardless if you’re in a relationship with someone, you have to remember each person will still feel things differently and handle things differently from what you may feel is correct.  Never blame one another for not always agreeing because as humans we never will always agree on how to handle things that’s just the reality of it.  Relationships take lots of work and patience and if you don’t have any the relationship won’t work so that’s why communication will be a huge factor in a relationship.

Be faithful…

I know you have heard of the phrase when I’m single I do single stuff but when I’m in a relationship I am committed.  Being faithful to your partner is a must.  If you’re not in an open relationship that have been discussed before accepting the relationship commitment then you should not be emotionally, mentally or physically involved with another man or woman during your committed relationship! I know you are probably saying to yourself “well this is common sense”.  I want you to know that it may be common sense but most still don’t adhere to it.  As we all know or should know at the least that no one is perfect but I feel that if you really love someone you would never intentionally hurt them.  Being faithful also means not knowingly putting yourself in situations where it could cause unnecessary problems or drama in the relationship.  You have to believe that real love exist and when you truly love someone the need for another is not in your thoughts because you are so busy trying to make sure the relationship you have so nurtured and cared for.  When you are in a committed relationship you shouldn’t have time to focus on another man or woman cause you are always busy trying to find new ways to love on the person your with.  I heard a wise man say one day that if you are busy keeping your grass-green you wouldn’t notice the grass on the other side!  People will make mistakes in life but some mistakes can be avoidable and if anyone ever tells you different don’t listen.  I want to make it very clear that cheating is a CHOICE not a mistake.

Respect each other…

When you are in a relationship not everything will be just about you and your feelings any more.  As they say there is no I in we.  Good relationship tips for couples is to understand that no matter how long you have been in a relationship you have to ALWAYS have and give respect to your partner because if not the relationship will fail!  A good rule of thumb is if you are doing something that you wouldn’t like for your partner to do to you then trust me that’s a sure sign you shouldn’t be doing it.  I believe that no man likes a nagging woman but remember no woman likes a disrespectful, untrustworthy, lying, and inconsistent man!


When I give relationship tips for couples I always have to let them consistency is powerful!  When you’re in a relationship the same thing that it took to get that person is the same it takes to keep that person.  If in the beginning you put in the effort there is no reason to believe you don’t have to do it anymore.  When you are not consistent it leaves the door open for assumptions and that is never a good thing!  I know that life happens and situations can change in your life so a point where you may not have as much time as you use to such as change of jobs schedules and etc.  If things are changes are happening in your life and it will eventually effect your partner then that is where communication comes into play.  Always inform your partner of why the consistency is not there anymore because silence is not always the key in certain situations.

In conclusion

My relationship tips for couples is to always try to understand your partner, communicate, respect, love, be faithful and trust in one another.  Love is beautiful and relationships can be fulfilling if you focus on what can go right and thrive off of that! To read more on healthy relationships click here.  I also want to share this article right here with you because it has additional tips as well.

relationship tips for couples


New relationship advice

The start of a new relationship advice….

So I know that you may have butterflies right now and it feels so good to have finally met someone after a long period of time.  Hopefully during your time of not being in a relationship you have been focusing on being a better you so that when the time comes for a new relationship you are prepared.  I know that after bad breakups or even mutual breakups that everyone could use some new relationship advice.  The most important part of the relationship is the part right after the butterflies go away and things are not as easy.

Is this too good to be true?

So now that its been over a month things are becoming more comfortable and you are feeling like can this be real? You are wondering in your mind can this person really be different from my ex?  I know that in new relationships often times when things are going good we tend to start thinking of what can go wrong.  I want to take the time to convince you to change your way of thinking.  It is now time to stop thinking of what could go wrong and think about what could go right!  I know that this will be easier said than done.  Always remember new relationships require a new way of looking at things if you want them to work out.  If the new person has not shown you any red flags as to him or her being too good to be true then have faith.

Forget about the past…

The first thing I always tell people when it comes to new relationship advice is to forget about the past.  The past is over and done with so no need to drag it on into your future.  I know that as human we sometimes hurt the ones that we once use to love but you have to heal and move pass it.  I am not saying that you just forget about all the lessons you learned from the experience the previous relationship gave you.  What I am here to tell you is that it will be a huge mistake to blame your new partner for what you ex partner did to you while in your past relationship.  There is a saying that you should never take your baggage to be unloaded by someone who didn’t help you pack it.

Have fun enjoy life…

The second thing that I always say when it comes to new relationship advice is to enjoy life and your partner!  This is a fresh start and a new beginning with a brand new person.  It’s so much fun just learning a person and opening up to receive something different from the things you endured in previous relationships that wasn’t so pleasant.  Always take time out to share with each other different things in life and experience things you never have before.  Life is about living not just existing.  If your partner is in a shell make them comfortable enough to come out and be themselves.  Love is beautiful and life can be very fun and enjoyable for you both of you together.

Respect each other…

My new relationship advice tip is to always respect each other.  I know there will be times when your partner will make mistakes but no matter what the golden rule is to respect each other and communicate.  Always remember when going into a new relationship this is a learning process.  You and your partner are two different people trying to come together as one.  During the process of learning each other mistakes will be made but it’s about how you overcome them which will require respect and lots of communication.  If your partner is not doing something that you feel will be a problem in the relationship please respect each other enough to talk about it.

Final thoughts…

A new relationship can be a scary thing all the while being a good thing.  When you open up your heart to someone to receive the love that you are giving out is beautiful.  Remember to never make your current partner pay for mistakes caused by another man or woman.  My advice is if you feel that is happening or will happen if you get into another relationship then the reality of it is maybe you are not ready to move on.  We are all human and we are not perfect by no means but when you try your best your partner will recognize it.  My new relationship advice to you is be free and be loved.  Take the time to get to know your partner’s wants and needs.  I want to wish you all the luck on your new journey of love.  If you need more advice on healthy relationships please read this post here.  I also wanted to include a good read that you may find helpful as well here.

new relationship advice

Different types of relationships

Different types of relationships you should know about…

We all have our own spin on the many different types of relationships out here especially in this new generation of love.  As we all know love is something that most seek but want it the way we want it or nothing at all.  First I want you to ask yourself “what am I looking for in a relationship”?  The hard truth is that there are many different types of relationships that may NOT appeal to you but may appeal to your partner.  The different types of relationships I am referring to is monogamy and polygamy relationships.

Why would you want a monogamy relationship?

Having a monogamy relationship means simply a long-term relationship with one sexual partner.  I believe that most people crave and seek out this kind of relationship.  When you and your partner have decided that there will be no other woman nor man (no third wheels) then that means all affection, sexual acts, emotional ties and etc. is with that one person.  When two people share a monogamy relationship most feel that the bond is stronger and the connection that you feel with that person will provide a deep lasting love.  Love with the one you love is a beautiful thing if you both can agree on the terms of this type of relationship.  When you are in this type of relationship there should be no room for another man or woman to please the person you have committed too because you both will understand the boundaries with other people of the opposite sex.

Lets talk boundaries…

This is going to be a little tricky to speak on because truthfully we all have different tolerance levels and different ways to handle different types of relationships.  Lets just say you partner has a problem with you communicating on the phone with whom you call a “best friend” but that person happens to be of the opposite sex.  I think I can speak for a lot of us when I say that won’t fly to well with your partner.  I say that because in reality no one wants their mate building a bond and somewhat of an emotional attachment with another man or woman.  Many of you may think this is called jealousy but the truth is if that man or woman is bonded and have a best friend with another of the other sex then what really are you there for?  Let me break that down for you a bit if you can’t call on your partner in your time of need or to basically communicate what ever it is that you talk about with a best friend of the opposite sex then there is no need to have that person around.  Your partner is someone who should be there for you, support you and someone you have open communication with.

I think I want a polygamy relationship….

Now I know most of you almost fell to the floor saying to yourself “have you lost your mind”?  Well to answer that question no I haven’t lost my mind but I have a open mind.  Although this is something I wouldn’t agree to you have to understand there are many different types of relationships out here today.  In these days and times you have to ask questions and be upfront about the type of relationship that works for you.  I want to explain to you that just because you meet a man or woman and you think they are head over heels for you doesn’t mean they want you and only you.  That simply means that they like you and may even grow to love you but not only want JUST you!  A polygamy relationship means  having multiple long-term sexual partners.

How is this going to work???

If you are with someone who clearly have stated that they are just not ready to settle with one person please don’t try to change their mind because it will be a waste of time!  You will find yourself calling what you think is the side chick or side man but really they are considered a main as well.  Honesty is always the best policy and if you tell your partner you are okay with this please understand that there is no going back saying well I thought he or she would change because often times people agree to these types of relationships but really don’t agree to what it really means.  If you are okay with all the terms of this kind of relationship by all means enjoy yourself!

In conclusion…

There are many different types of relationships.  There is never a problem with doing what you prefer to do in life but just make sure you are ready for the outcomes of it all.  The only problem that can arise is when your partner is not upfront with you about their needs and wants and they begin to cover it up which leads to other problems that you can read about here.  If you need additional help use this link to find a relationship coach in your area right here.  Always be remember to be good to yourself and enjoy life because you only get one!

different types of relationships


Emotional Affair

What is an emotional affair?

When I think of what an emotional affair is I think of it as an affair of the heart.  I find this especially true when you are currently committed to another. I have seen this happen in relationships many more times than I have fingers to count them all on.  Emotional affairs don’t turn out too well either from what I have seen.  If you are the faithful one in the relationship I bet you are asking yourself right now “how could this have happened or what did I do wrong?”.  Well I have realized some things and I’m ready to speak what I think you should know about these emotional affairs.

This is innocent…

So you have met a new friend of the opposite sex at the work place, school, or etc.  As the conversations deepen you start to see exactly what you saw in your partner when you first met them.  This is a feeling of excitement from the freshness of it all and the attention you are getting is exactly what you have been missing in your current relationship.  The attraction you have to your new flame is heating up more and more so you begin to do what you would call innocent flirtation.  In your mind you know it’s wrong but it feels right so you continue the behavior.

Let me stop you for a minute….

OK so in that person’s mind they know it’s wrong but they consider it innocent flirting? I see a lot wrong with that because if your mind is telling you it’s wrong then clearly it is wrong!  I am the type of person who analyze a lot of things and one thing for sure is you have to be an exact replica of what you would want your partner to be.  If the shoe was on the other foot, could you wear it?  Many of us have grandparents or parents who I know have said that around the house quite a few times before.  So not much explaining is needed on that so let’s get back to this.

He understands me….

So now that you are having conversations outside of the designated place that you originally should have kept the limited conversations at it’s now becoming an emotional attachment.  The man or woman you are involving yourself with now knows all of the shortcomings of your partner because you have confided in them.  At this point you are thinking this person really has a sincere interest in you and because you are getting what you think it better than what you currently have you roll with it and there becomes an emotional affair.  As you grow closer to this person you start to give more and put more into the situation.  You now find yourself sneaking to see them, setting time aside to put in that good night text and etc.

This can’t be right…

Time is passing and questions are sparking between you and your partner as to what’s going on because things have seemed to changed a lot.  You are in a confused state and all you know is that this can’t continue because it’s eating you up inside having this emotional affair with another that doesn’t belong to you!  You sit down with your partner with hopes that he or she won’t pick up on the vibes and energy you are filling the room up with.  To your surprise your partner already knows to an extent and says “whatever you are doing if you stop it now we can start over and work on getting back to what we are close to losing”.  Deep down you know you can’t continue this anymore anyway and have to make a decision.

The conclusion…

After you think everything over you tell your partner what you have been up too.  You tell him or her why it felt right to do what you did. Meanwhile you have cut off communication with the other person while you were figuring this all out.  You have been spending time reflecting and have realized it wasn’t solely your partners fault for all the things you felt had disappeared from the relationship.  You are now doing exactly what you should have been doing this whole time yet you didn’t even realize in the act of searching for something else to replace what you had, you could have had it all the long only if you wasn’t so distracted putting all of your effort into someone else that was only going to tell how he wasn’t taking you serious he was just looking for some fun after you contact him to tell him you can’t see him anymore .

Everyone please understand this one thing you must start paying attention and communicating! You will find yourself losing good men and women left and right if you are busy focusing on the greener grass when in reality your grass can look the same way if you focus on it and water it, it can become just as green as it was before.  For another good read click here.



 thoughts of a woman revealed

Why so many lies?

The simple things…

I know that for me and a lot of others respect goes a long way.  But the question is how do you say you respect someone when you tell them lies constantly?  I don’t know about others but in my opinion when you are in a relationship and you are building a bond and strong foundation for the relationship it should be a very simple process  to the tell the truth.  A lot of things are easier said than done but I won’t compromise with this one only because it’s to simple to do.  Just imagine not having to tell a million lies to cover up just one lie!


I want to completely make it clear that no man nor woman will be perfect!  I want you to also understand that if you are looking for the perfect man or woman you should just stay single FOREVER!  I know that may sound harsh but trust me its real and it came from a very sincere place.  When your decide to lie to your partner about something that you already know may jeopardize the relationship that means you made a calculated decision to do so and that’s selfish.  Just because you may think your partner will flip out or leave the relationship is just your thoughts but what if just maybe you tell them the truth and although they are furious they begin to respect you more for telling them the truth?

I just can’t hurt the one I love…

So after some thought you have chosen to continue with your lies because of selfishness which in your mind you think you are protecting your partner’s feelings.   My question is and I know your partner’s question is as well deep down were you really looking out for them or are you are just looking out for yourself?  Let me help you understand something, this is deep this isn’t the small lie that you have told in order to throw a surprise for her that she would love that you know she has been wanting.  This lie will last in her mind for a possible lifetime because as a woman I can speak for us and let you know upfront we forget nothing! Something to remember is you are only hurting the person more by not giving them an option of how to handle how they feel.  You are not trusting in the fact that they are capable of making the best decisions for themselves which in turns hurt them more.

Let’s fix this…

So lets just look at another option which is the BEST option! Let’s say you decide to tell the truth and your partner is mad but says “I know how hard it was for you to tell me the truth but I appreciate that you respected me enough to tell me and although I’m mad lets talk about how to fix this”.  Now I have to tell you that you may not get the response in those exact words and not at the exact moment that you tell the truth but you will get a better response than if you lied!  We all have to learn to trust in our partners and know that if the bond is strong don’t throw it away for momentarily people or things that try to come between the two of you.  Always work on having a healthy, loving, and trusting relationship. Don’t allow no one to ruin what you have and that includes yourself as well!  Lies will ruin a relationship so just be honest and trust in the fact that you and your partner have a bond that shouldn’t be destroyed by selfish lies! Please also read this 

Why so many lies?

Can I trust you?

The nagging woman

Now I know this isn’t something women like to be referred to as but the hard truth of it is that men refer to women this way more than you know.  When a woman have an “ATTITUDE” instead of thinking about why she has that attitude or why her mood is thrown off  men just say the famous line “man you always got an attitude about something”.  Now granted there are some women who may just be mad ahaha but in most cases there is a problem!  Many men just like majority of women will assume instead of asking what’s wrong.  In my opinion a nagging woman is a woman who has some things that she need to get off her chest, trust issues or just some things that should have been expressed probably before now but it has been held in for various reasons.


I never understood why it’s hard for either person in the relationship to say let’s sit down and talk I want to know what’s wrong?  I want to know what’s on your mind? Those simple questions can make a world of difference in a relationship.  Most women think of trust as the main component in a relationship and if you don’t have that then you have nothing.  You have to trust in your partner enough to communicate the hardest things at times but it has to be done if you want a lasting relationship.  Instead of just assuming she has an attitude ask about it because 10 times out of 20 its going to be a deep situation.  Always remember as well what may not be deep to you may be deep to her so you have to communicate and understanding she isn’t just nagging because it’s something to do.  Communication is just as important as trust because they both go hand in hand with each other.

Guessing games

When a woman starts to suspect something is wrong and it’s not being addressed, in her mind she begins to wonder and assume.  Oh I know some men are rattled up right now at just the thought of reading this with the word ASSUME in it because men hate that ladies.  The reality of it is that if a woman is trying to communicate and the man is not communicating back in a proper manner that woman will assume! In all fairness what else is she to do if your holding back and just thinking of her as a woman nagging you?  No man nor woman should have to be play guessing games as to what is going on in the relationship.  When the games start the relationship ends simple as that.

What have you done?

If you know that you have a track record of lies longer than a trip to another planet please understand that will always be in the back of her mind.  If you have a history of not being faithful and loyal to her please understand that most certainly will always be in her mind especially when you are leaving her guessing and assuming because you are not communicating efficiently.  All because I am a fair person I have to say that ladies if you have agreed to forgive this man for his wrong doings and stated that you are moving forward with the relationship, that means you can’t keep bringing it back up, however ladies I encourage you to never forget though!  When you are rebuilding trust with someone it takes work.  It will not be easy to get to a point were you fully and completely trust that person who did wrong by you.

Moving forward

A woman wants to be loved, give love and wants to feel love.  There is no woman on earth who wants to be in a relationship with a man who is not honest with her, loyal to her, affectionate with her, and completely faithful to her.  Ladies you know the drill though we have to provide those things too as well.  A woman will treat a man like the king he should be once she completely trust in him and believe in him and the relationship.  A woman that nags you is a woman who need to be reassured of the relationship because somewhere along the way between the ups and downs things got lost along the way.  You have to trust one another and I promise you will have a lot less problems when the trust is there.  It will make the relationship so much simpler and guys you would be surprised at the lengths that woman will go to for a man that they fully trust!  Be mindful of each others feelings and stay connected.  Bonds are built with the intentions of them lasting so think really hard before breaking them!!  Read this here for more on this topic.

can I trust you


Incapable of giving love

What is he afraid of?

Ladies have you ever been in a relationship with a man who always seem like he is suffering inside and he tends to go above and beyond to make everything your fault?  Have you found yourself  trying to figure out is it you even when you know in your mind and heart it’s not?  I know this won’t be too hard to believe because we see it all the time but we never understand it until we have been through it.  If the man you are with is incapable of giving love to you then please understand it’s not you!  You will never be able to control what another human puts out into the universe or the energy that they give off to others.   What that man is afraid of you may never know but it’s not fair to suffer at the expense of sparing his feelings of truths that he needs to hear.

That old saying….

You all know how the old saying goes, if you can’t have peace in your own home where can you have it at?  I can answer that for you with no problem and that’s NO WHERE!  I don’t know about anyone else but there has to be peace where I lay my head at all times day and night.  If you are incapable of giving love then you shouldn’t bother with those that are!  I know that was very simply said but trust me it’s power in that simple saying.  In my opinion the men that are hurt and struggling within knew they where dealing with that struggle before they met you.  The reason why I choose to believe this is because if all the things he tells you that happened to him in his past and he moves on quickly and does the exact same thing to you if not worse than he knew he was carrying that around inside already.  It’s just a matter of time before he let it out.

The trying process…

Mostly all of us have been in situations in which we know the relationship is going down hill but you try so hard only because you can see the potential in the relationship although you don’t actually feel it deep down.  The reason most of us do that is because naturally there is always a sense of hope that things will get better and that person you are with will see the damage they are causing.  The million dollar question one may want to know is do they really ever realize it while it’s happening?  I guess this may be debatable for some but not for me I stand on the fact that they know exactly what they are doing. This is especially true when the person they are with is telling them over and over and the tears have been flowing for years and I assure you it’s not tears of joy.

The dreaded I can do better speech…

To further prove my thoughts on this think back or think to the many moments he says “baby I know I been messing up but just give me one more chance and I will change.”  So as smart as we are ladies, we give him that chance and a hemp more of others too.  I want you to know I tried so hard to not laugh as I typed that but ladies you know how we do sometimes!  We have to learn to just accept men as they are and not expect a change especially when they are really ready.  No matter how many times the word sorry is thrown around, if his mind isn’t set in stone that he will do better and he proves it with his actions then the hard truth of it is he won’t.  I do want to say there is nothing wrong with giving chances because no one is perfect however when enough is enough then its enough! You can read more on that topic here.

Please understand this…

Ladies stop blaming yourself because you feel for a man who was incapable of giving love to you.  I know that you have heard this before but the heart wants what the heart wants but be careful and remember your mind is still to be used too.  That hold you feel that man has on him is bigger than you and more than likely started way before you so don’t allow the dishonesty, unfaithfulness, insecurities, lack of communication etc. to consume you and make you feel like you are to blame.  Never fall down into the evil plot of others.  Remember that love is to be given freely not to be forced upon an individual who is incapable of giving love back as you deserve.

incapable of giving love





Abusive relationships

Please don’t let love fool you into staying….

So he says he love you?  He also said that you mean so much to him that he wouldn’t be able to live without you? He says these things but then he jumps in your face, acts like your the reason he acts this way and proceed to degrade you like your nothing. He hasn’t put his hands on you but you find your heart shattered and broken into a million pieces.  His actions and words towards you prove to you your not enough yet you stay.  I don’t know who you are that I’m speaking to but I want you to know that emotional and mentally abusive relationships are not OK to be in.  So many questions come to mind when your sitting in the dark after crying your eyes out wondering why you aren’t good enough.

To whomever is going through this now or have been through it, I want you to know it’s NOT you!  You are not the problem.  You have not done anything wrong other than letting love trick you into staying in these abusive relationships that you don’t deserve.  I want you to know that we all understand your reasoning because just like you everyone wants love but please understand real love can’t come from someone who is hurting you!  Yes I get that its not physical abuse but he is breaking you down day by day minute by minute.  That man is a coward.  You are beautiful, smart and intelligent never let anyone tell you other wise.  The man that is verbally abusing you is a very insecure man.  His issues are within himself and has nothing to do with you.  With that being said I don’t care what you do to try and FIX him he will always revert to acting like you are the worst.

When you pour your love all over him does he accept it? When you encourage him and tell him things in life aren’t always going to be picture perfect but worth it, does he scold you like a child because he wants everything his way right then because he has no patience with life or with you? On your happy days does he go out his way to make you feel like you shouldn’t be happy because nothing is right for him? Does he make you feel like your walking on eggshells just to be sure you don’t provoke him into jumping in your face, cussing you out to a point that the tears roll faster than you can blink?

I know this may be a lot to think about it and I’m not telling you this will be easy but I will tell you that you have to leave this situation.  The man that is doing this to you don’t love you fully like you deserve to be loved.  I have always believed that a man that does this to a woman is a broken man with internal issues that you can’t fix for him no matter how much you want to do so.  I understand that you love the one that you are with but at the same time you have to love yourself a little bit more.  There comes a time in life that you have to put yourself first regardless if you see the man your with as your priority.

You don’t deserve to be treated anything less than the queen that you are.  I just can’t stress this enough that you are enough! Even if you are not enough for the person that you want to be enough for but I promise you that somebody one day will see you for you and will love you like you could never imagine.  If that man is verbally abusing you please don’t feel obligated to stay because you love him or that you think he loves you.  A man that loves you will love on you, pray with you, care for you, hold you, make sure your OK and always be there for you.  A real man that loves you will not want to see you see you cry and although I’m sure not a lot people know that you are going through this because you prefer that it is kept quiet but just know your eyes speak even when your mouth is closed.

Don’t be afraid to find happiness.  As women we have to love and support one another please read and find encouragement in this post as well.  Don’t ever stay in abusive relationships remember you are a queen so allow yourself to be treated like one.

abusive relationships


Dating chat is needed

Is he long-term or short-term?

So I want to start off by telling you that the old saying that you hear people saying that you have to go through the bad to get to the good is true!  The process of dating can lead to good long-term things or it could be bad short-term things.  Personally I will tell you all I have had the worse and I feel that now I can recognize better. I want to explain exactly what I mean so let’s do some dating chat.

When dating someone it should be a fun and exciting time for both you and him.  You both should be putting in effort to get to know each other and build up a bond that becomes unbreakable.  I learned quickly to identify suspicious behavior when dating someone.  Now that may sound a bit off or funny but I promise I have a reason for saying that.  Do you know that during the dating stage you ask lots of questions and actually listen to remember the answers?  Well if you knew that I want you to know you are one of the smarter ones because up until recently I didn’t even know particularly men had that in them.  As women we get so use to the wrong ones that we become immune to it.  We also should never look at that as normal because it’s not!

Lately I’ve found out ladies that there is some hope for us!  If you follow my posts regularly then you already know I only write on what I know and have experienced so when I tell you that there is a man out there that will listen to you, pursue you consistently, be there for you, bring NO baggage your way, be honest with you, date you with better intentions than just to sleep with you, put you first, be faithful and loyal to you I’m telling you the truth!  Ladies if you are getting anything less that those things he is NOT the one.

The purpose of this dating chat is that you will be able to identify a guy who is good for you if you are looking for short-term.  It’s the suspicious behavior that gives it away.  That man can tell you what you want to hear but watch how he handles you.  If every time that man sees you it’s at your house and always includes straight to the bed and then he dips out, that is not the man who is looking for long-term with you.  Yea that guy may like what he is getting from you but that’s it!  That guy is not dating you because you have a beautiful smile, beautiful personality, your honest, loyal, and faithful.  A real man is going to not only be attracted to you physically, but mentally, and emotionally.  That man is going to want to know all about you and he will invest time into doing so.

Never allow someone to tell you they are so busy with work and daily life that they can’t make time for anything other than coming to CHILL with you, handle their business then leave.  Dating is fun and relaxed but remember when you date a person you are  dating with a purpose!  I say don’t date a when can I come chill with you type guy.  You have to get you a hey how you doing can I take you out type of guy.  I promise you those are the best.  They make their intentions known and leaves no room for guess-work and you can’t ask for better than that.  It’s the simplest things that REAL men do that will make you want them more.

So if that man don’t have you feeling like a queen, give you hope and faith that not all are the same then that’s those short-term guys, you better watch out for them and let them go!  Having the worse has definitely paved the way for the best to come just pay attention to how he handles you.  I’ve enjoyed the dating chat you all have to let me know your experiences as well in the comments.  Read this here as well for more dating chat.

dating chat

Find your motivation

Even if done alone you have to keep going..

I know things can be ruff at times and I also know that it’s so easy to get distracted. If you are a regular follower of my posts then you already know that I talk from experience.  I am here to tell you all that there will be some people in your life that will bring nothing but negative energy but it’s up to you to find your own motivation.  When I say find your own motivation I mean find it within yourself. Don’t ever depend on no one to give you what you can find within.

It took me a while to realize that not everyone was going to be my everyday cheerleader.  I had so much negative energy around me at one point in my life that I literally ALMOST begun to think like them.  It was at that point that I knew I had to make some changes to get away from them.  As a matter of fact it was more like running away because I wanted no parts of it.  I realized I deserved so much better because I sat back and thought about all the good I do for others and it just makes sense to want some of that back.  I know that no one is perfect each of us are fighting our own demons but that shouldn’t make you want to devalue the person or people that are there for you.

Throughout my life I have always been supportive of the people close to me and people that I don’t even know I have words of encouragement for them too. You can never really know exactly what people are going through in life so you have to be someone’s difference between a bad day and a bad life.  What that means is if you can’t be supportive, show love, inspire, encourage and motivate a person then no need to have a conversation of any kind with that person.  I say that because if that person is already going through some things why contribute to it?  If that person has a lot going on and you come around with your negative energy then the first thought in their head is ugh nothing can go right in my life but if you are supportive you can possibly change that thought.

The point of this is no matter who you are and what you do in life don’t allow negative people around to influence your thinking.  I do know that negativity is always around lurking but it just makes it even harder than what it has to be when you have the extra negativity from people close to you.  Take the time to find your own motivation to be great within yourself! The journey you are on will not be easy but it will be worth it always remember that.  As far as the people that enter your life and want to see you winning these battles time after time make sure to feed off of that and keep them around because its not many out here that’s going to be that ear to listen or that crutch when you can’t stand alone!  So love one another and support one another because its already enough hate in the world as it is. This post here will also provide insight on this message I wanted to share with you all.

motivation is what keeps you going in life. Motivate yourself even when you have no support.