Ladies why is it that when a man shows us exactly who he is we always try to prove him wrong? Ladies no matter if its in the beginning of the relationship or as time progress there will be red flags but because you are so into him you ignore them all! We have all been in this exact situation were we think that we can change a man when the truth is WE CAN’T! A man only changes when he is ready to change! I don’t care how upset you get, I don’t care if you scream to the top of your lungs, this man is not going to do what you think he should do as a man until he is ready! There are guys out here that want to be a different man but the harsh reality of it is that it may not be with you. To elaborate a little what that means is that the saying you hear from time to time, “right person wrong time” is a true statement. You can see all the potential in this man and put in your mind how good you two could be if this was a different time in which he has himself together internally. People have issues that come from within themselves and if that isn’t fixed you can very well meet the right person but at the wrong time because their not ready for the work it takes to build a strong healthy relationship. When you meet someone that you see potential in but yet they clearly have underlying issues, you have two options, either you’re going to deal with all the heartache and many headaches they will bring while getting themselves together or you will let them go to heal themselves and realize you can’t fix people until they are ready to be fixed! The hard truth of this all is that as women we mostly choose option one if we have started to love or care for the person we are with. Many of you may ask well why do we likely choose option one? The reason we make this decision is that we ignored all the red flags in the beginning that this man was damaged because we thought to ourselves oh I can make this right I can fix him! The truth is that man already showed you who he was in the first place but you still stuck around because you only focused on the potential you saw in him. Ladies remember you have to proceed with caution when dealing with a broken and lost man because it’s no way you’re going to fix him he has to be ready to fix himself!
Month: July 2017
People come and people go the one thing you don’t ever do is let a person run all over you regardless! Abuse comes in many forms it ain’t always physically! When you know that you are doing all that you can for a person yet that person is trying there hardest to make you feel you are the lowest of the lowest it’s time to let go!! I know that often times we hold on because we love that person and think to ourselves one day they are going to get it all together and everything will be OK. The hard truth of this is that it’s not going to be OK until that person sees a problem with their actions and while they are figuring it out they shouldn’t have you around except maybe as a friend nothing more! I say that because that person needs some time to heal from whatever demons are within them that would make them think it’s OK to emotionally bring a person to their knees and don’t even see that they are doing it. Let me clarify that maybe they know they are doing but have no idea how to stop it because they are lost and have no control. Although you can meet a person, love a person and be there sometimes that’s not enough, sometimes that person is searching for something way above what you can give them, and they will continue to self-destruct until they realize they have issues that are deeper than that relationship that they are carrying on with you. When you come across a person that you know your giving your all too and that’s not enough for them and you feel like the door mat that’s been walked on all day after a bad stormy weather it’s time to let go!! I do believe that person can love you and care for you but what’s going on inside of them is something you can’t fix and you need to understand the saying love a person from a distance is definitely true it has to be done sometimes so that that person can recognize their actions and not to mention you can start to understand you shouldn’t be accepting of a person treating you like your nothing when clearly you are something and somebody even if it’s not to them! Never allow yourself to be a door mat in a toxic situation even if you know that person has potential to be better just allow them time to do that, but they just can’t be in your life while they are doing it!
Have you ever noticed the most the simplest things can be overlooked? People can come into your life and tell you the oh so wonderful intentions they have for you with the relationship or friendship but still manage to end up taking the power you have over making your own choices! You have to be real careful with what someone says because they truly can be telling you one thing but doing another. I’ve always believed in the fact that if you know what your wanting is totally opposite from the other person you should give them options. Don’t ever be as cruel as to play along and take away the power of saying “yes I’ll be cool” with that or “no that ain’t for me!” There are women and men who are guilty of this! It’s very simple to just address what’s really about to happen in the relationship even if the intentions are good in the beginning and change later still never take the power of choice away from anyone! Ladies and fellows be honest with the ones you care about. If you know your not ready for what they are asking you for or have made known that they are expecting just be upfront because remember you would want them to do the same for you!
Do you ever sit down and think about how your life would change for the better with the right person by your side? The one thing I always hear people say is that they need their significant other to complete them but the truth of it is you should be completed before you find your significant other. I do believe that two people who are meant to be are meant to be because they both found each other already completed! Two halves make a whole but when you’re coming into someone life only half together you really can’t give your all because your busy still working on you and getting yourself together! Does it really make sense to have someone give you their all, love you to the moon and back yet your up and can’t sleep at night because your busy thinking about how to get your life together? Being single is a time for healing and growing for yourself basically getting prepared for the person who will enter your life at your best. I believe when your at your best you choose the best! There are a lot of times we choose partners based upon the right now “us” not even considering the fact our judgment is cloudy. The truth is if we are focused on getting better instead of looking for someone to complete us, we will be able to be better in relationships with others. When your not fully together we tend to allow unnecessary drama, chaos, and accept things we normally wouldn’t accept if we were a better us! I know I have had this problem before and realized it bought me so much headache, and they say when you know better you do better and that is something I’m working on. Feel free to share your thoughts!
Many times we sit, and we think about things so much until we think ourselves out of the truth. For me I have always believed that the heart is not as trust worthy as the mind. Have you ever just knew something wasn’t right but because you love someone you choose to ignore what your mind is telling you only for it to keep nagging at your soul? Have you ever drifted off in the middle of doing something and your mind is just going nonstop? If the answer is yes to either of those then just know there is something within you should deal with. Its so many situations this applies to but one in particular is relationships with your significant other. Some people want to be loved so much that their partner could be extremely wrong for them, yet they dismiss the thoughts because the heart cant let go of what the mind is saying this won’t work. Often times you can find yourself searching that person for what you want to be there other than what is actually there all because you love them. We all have to remember it’s not what that person says or even their actions because there are a lot of people who say they feel a certain way and their actions may even show it at times but remember there are men and women who display certain actions to get what they want luckily for us the mind always knows when its fraudulent! The heart is a place for love and because everyone wants to be loved that’s what we use the most in relationships but the mind is a little more difficult to read, so we try to block it out but ladies we can’t we just can’t! When you use your heart and not the mind it can lead you to know something isn’t right but you stay because your heart is so full of love for someone who isn’t meant for you! I would love your thoughts on this, lets figure this out together!
First things First Ladies, I sometimes know we as women get so low that it feels we are not as special as we are considering all that we do. We’re created to do things no man can do yet sometimes we remove our own crown by feeling less than what we are. Ladies you are a queen with or without a king in your life! When you begin to feel you’re not the queen you are remember all the good things that can do which is life changing. The creator trusted you to create life inside you, to withstand the pains of giving birth to another life. If that isn’t special enough, I don’t know what to tell you! Ladies we are nurturing, intelligent, resilient and so much more! We hold down the fort as my grandmother use to say. The way that we love these men need that and thrive off of it. Ladies I say that to say this we are all queens with or without a king in your life! Queens never feel that because you don’t have a king that is there for you, holding you, and loving on you that you’re not who you are. Queens you are a priceless prize and never let anyone make you feel otherwise!
First things First Ladies, I know sometimes we as women get so low that it feels we are not as special as we are considering all that we do. We’re created to do things no man can do yet sometimes we remove our own crown by feeling less than what we are. Ladies you are a queen with or without a king in your life! When you begin to feel you’re not the queen you are remember all the good things that can do which is life changing. The creator trusted you to create life inside you, to withstand the pains of giving birth to another life. If that isn’t special enough, I don’t know what to tell you! Ladies we are nurturing, intelligent, resilient and so much more! We hold down the fort as my grandmother use to say. The way that we love these men need that and thrive off of it. Ladies I say that to say this we are all queens with or without a king in your life! Queens never feel that because you don’t have a king that is there for you, holding you, and loving on you that you’re not who you are. Queens you are a priceless prize and never let anyone make you feel otherwise!
I’m just a small town girl who plans to shed some light on the many different thoughts and things that we as women go through daily. I am here to tell all in hopes that we can work together to understand this thing called life!