Abusive relationships

Please don’t let love fool you into staying….

So he says he love you?  He also said that you mean so much to him that he wouldn’t be able to live without you? He says these things but then he jumps in your face, acts like your the reason he acts this way and proceed to degrade you like your nothing. He hasn’t put his hands on you but you find your heart shattered and broken into a million pieces.  His actions and words towards you prove to you your not enough yet you stay.  I don’t know who you are that I’m speaking to but I want you to know that emotional and mentally abusive relationships are not OK to be in.  So many questions come to mind when your sitting in the dark after crying your eyes out wondering why you aren’t good enough.

To whomever is going through this now or have been through it, I want you to know it’s NOT you!  You are not the problem.  You have not done anything wrong other than letting love trick you into staying in these abusive relationships that you don’t deserve.  I want you to know that we all understand your reasoning because just like you everyone wants love but please understand real love can’t come from someone who is hurting you!  Yes I get that its not physical abuse but he is breaking you down day by day minute by minute.  That man is a coward.  You are beautiful, smart and intelligent never let anyone tell you other wise.  The man that is verbally abusing you is a very insecure man.  His issues are within himself and has nothing to do with you.  With that being said I don’t care what you do to try and FIX him he will always revert to acting like you are the worst.

When you pour your love all over him does he accept it? When you encourage him and tell him things in life aren’t always going to be picture perfect but worth it, does he scold you like a child because he wants everything his way right then because he has no patience with life or with you? On your happy days does he go out his way to make you feel like you shouldn’t be happy because nothing is right for him? Does he make you feel like your walking on eggshells just to be sure you don’t provoke him into jumping in your face, cussing you out to a point that the tears roll faster than you can blink?

I know this may be a lot to think about it and I’m not telling you this will be easy but I will tell you that you have to leave this situation.  The man that is doing this to you don’t love you fully like you deserve to be loved.  I have always believed that a man that does this to a woman is a broken man with internal issues that you can’t fix for him no matter how much you want to do so.  I understand that you love the one that you are with but at the same time you have to love yourself a little bit more.  There comes a time in life that you have to put yourself first regardless if you see the man your with as your priority.

You don’t deserve to be treated anything less than the queen that you are.  I just can’t stress this enough that you are enough! Even if you are not enough for the person that you want to be enough for but I promise you that somebody one day will see you for you and will love you like you could never imagine.  If that man is verbally abusing you please don’t feel obligated to stay because you love him or that you think he loves you.  A man that loves you will love on you, pray with you, care for you, hold you, make sure your OK and always be there for you.  A real man that loves you will not want to see you see you cry and although I’m sure not a lot people know that you are going through this because you prefer that it is kept quiet but just know your eyes speak even when your mouth is closed.

Don’t be afraid to find happiness.  As women we have to love and support one another please read and find encouragement in this post as well.  Don’t ever stay in abusive relationships remember you are a queen so allow yourself to be treated like one.

abusive relationships

 

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Dating chat is needed

Is he long-term or short-term?

So I want to start off by telling you that the old saying that you hear people saying that you have to go through the bad to get to the good is true!  The process of dating can lead to good long-term things or it could be bad short-term things.  Personally I will tell you all I have had the worse and I feel that now I can recognize better. I want to explain exactly what I mean so let’s do some dating chat.

When dating someone it should be a fun and exciting time for both you and him.  You both should be putting in effort to get to know each other and build up a bond that becomes unbreakable.  I learned quickly to identify suspicious behavior when dating someone.  Now that may sound a bit off or funny but I promise I have a reason for saying that.  Do you know that during the dating stage you ask lots of questions and actually listen to remember the answers?  Well if you knew that I want you to know you are one of the smarter ones because up until recently I didn’t even know particularly men had that in them.  As women we get so use to the wrong ones that we become immune to it.  We also should never look at that as normal because it’s not!

Lately I’ve found out ladies that there is some hope for us!  If you follow my posts regularly then you already know I only write on what I know and have experienced so when I tell you that there is a man out there that will listen to you, pursue you consistently, be there for you, bring NO baggage your way, be honest with you, date you with better intentions than just to sleep with you, put you first, be faithful and loyal to you I’m telling you the truth!  Ladies if you are getting anything less that those things he is NOT the one.

The purpose of this dating chat is that you will be able to identify a guy who is good for you if you are looking for short-term.  It’s the suspicious behavior that gives it away.  That man can tell you what you want to hear but watch how he handles you.  If every time that man sees you it’s at your house and always includes straight to the bed and then he dips out, that is not the man who is looking for long-term with you.  Yea that guy may like what he is getting from you but that’s it!  That guy is not dating you because you have a beautiful smile, beautiful personality, your honest, loyal, and faithful.  A real man is going to not only be attracted to you physically, but mentally, and emotionally.  That man is going to want to know all about you and he will invest time into doing so.

Never allow someone to tell you they are so busy with work and daily life that they can’t make time for anything other than coming to CHILL with you, handle their business then leave.  Dating is fun and relaxed but remember when you date a person you are  dating with a purpose!  I say don’t date a when can I come chill with you type guy.  You have to get you a hey how you doing can I take you out type of guy.  I promise you those are the best.  They make their intentions known and leaves no room for guess-work and you can’t ask for better than that.  It’s the simplest things that REAL men do that will make you want them more.

So if that man don’t have you feeling like a queen, give you hope and faith that not all are the same then that’s those short-term guys, you better watch out for them and let them go!  Having the worse has definitely paved the way for the best to come just pay attention to how he handles you.  I’ve enjoyed the dating chat you all have to let me know your experiences as well in the comments.  Read this here as well for more dating chat.

dating chat

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