What is an emotional affair?
When I think of what an emotional affair is I think of it as an affair of the heart. I find this especially true when you are currently committed to another. I have seen this happen in relationships many more times than I have fingers to count them all on. Emotional affairs don’t turn out too well either from what I have seen. If you are the faithful one in the relationship I bet you are asking yourself right now “how could this have happened or what did I do wrong?”. Well I have realized some things and I’m ready to speak what I think you should know about these emotional affairs.
This is innocent…
So you have met a new friend of the opposite sex at the work place, school, or etc. As the conversations deepen you start to see exactly what you saw in your partner when you first met them. This is a feeling of excitement from the freshness of it all and the attention you are getting is exactly what you have been missing in your current relationship. The attraction you have to your new flame is heating up more and more so you begin to do what you would call innocent flirtation. In your mind you know it’s wrong but it feels right so you continue the behavior.
Let me stop you for a minute….
OK so in that person’s mind they know it’s wrong but they consider it innocent flirting? I see a lot wrong with that because if your mind is telling you it’s wrong then clearly it is wrong! I am the type of person who analyze a lot of things and one thing for sure is you have to be an exact replica of what you would want your partner to be. If the shoe was on the other foot, could you wear it? Many of us have grandparents or parents who I know have said that around the house quite a few times before. So not much explaining is needed on that so let’s get back to this.
He understands me….
So now that you are having conversations outside of the designated place that you originally should have kept the limited conversations at it’s now becoming an emotional attachment. The man or woman you are involving yourself with now knows all of the shortcomings of your partner because you have confided in them. At this point you are thinking this person really has a sincere interest in you and because you are getting what you think it better than what you currently have you roll with it and there becomes an emotional affair. As you grow closer to this person you start to give more and put more into the situation. You now find yourself sneaking to see them, setting time aside to put in that good night text and etc.
This can’t be right…
Time is passing and questions are sparking between you and your partner as to what’s going on because things have seemed to changed a lot. You are in a confused state and all you know is that this can’t continue because it’s eating you up inside having this emotional affair with another that doesn’t belong to you! You sit down with your partner with hopes that he or she won’t pick up on the vibes and energy you are filling the room up with. To your surprise your partner already knows to an extent and says “whatever you are doing if you stop it now we can start over and work on getting back to what we are close to losing”. Deep down you know you can’t continue this anymore anyway and have to make a decision.
After you think everything over you tell your partner what you have been up too. You tell him or her why it felt right to do what you did. Meanwhile you have cut off communication with the other person while you were figuring this all out. You have been spending time reflecting and have realized it wasn’t solely your partners fault for all the things you felt had disappeared from the relationship. You are now doing exactly what you should have been doing this whole time yet you didn’t even realize in the act of searching for something else to replace what you had, you could have had it all the long only if you wasn’t so distracted putting all of your effort into someone else that was only going to tell how he wasn’t taking you serious he was just looking for some fun after you contact him to tell him you can’t see him anymore .
Everyone please understand this one thing you must start paying attention and communicating! You will find yourself losing good men and women left and right if you are busy focusing on the greener grass when in reality your grass can look the same way if you focus on it and water it, it can become just as green as it was before. For another good read click here.